‘Be considerate’: Viral post on P7,000 steak dinner date sparks bill etiquette debate

November 4, 2024 - 5:53 PM
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Image by TapisRouge via Pixabay

A P7,000 steak dinner date sparked discussions among online Pinoys about bill etiquette after an anonymous sender sought opinions on whether to split the bill in a freedom wall post.

The viral entry also opened discussions about date etiquette, with some Pinoys saying that the sender should have been considerate.

What the entry is about

TCU Secret Files, a Facebook page that shares anonymous senders’ secrets on the platform, posted the screenshot of the conversation between the unnamed sender and the person she was dating.

The screenshot showed that the other party was asking the sender for the payment contribution for the date.

However, the sender thought that the other party would shoulder all the expenses.

The other party claimed that the sender ordered a lot of food and a takeout for the dog, leading to the decision to split the payment. 

Based on the caption of the post, the sender said that the other party was a suitor who planned on going on a date and paying for the expenses at a steakhouse.

The sender added that she ordered a lot.

“First time makakain ng medium rare na steak, kaya inabuso ko na. ‘Di ko akalain na aabot ng ganyan ‘yung bill,” the sender stated.

The anonymous sender submitted the entry to ask the public whether it is considered normal to ask someone to split the bill.

“‘Di ko lang ‘to napagbigyan sa kiss nung hinatid ako biglang nag-iba ihip ng hangin e,” the sender said.

TCU Secret Files posted the entry on October 31. It has since garnered at least 87,000 reactions, 7,200 comments and 15,4000 shares as of writing. 

Several Facebook users commented on the post, highlighting the concept of decency and courtesy when someone treats another person for a meal.

“The right thing to do ‘pag ininvite ka kumain sa labas and kahit sabihin na ‘My Treat’ is to wait for the host to order first. Huwag kang oorder ng mas mahal or mas higit pa sa order ng host mo, unless sinabi niya na ‘Sige order anything’ or another way is to ask sa kanya ano suggest nya na maganda na orderin mo para ma-gauge mo ang budget ng kasama mo,” an online user on the platform said.

“General rule naman po ata na,’pag ikaw ay nilibre ng kahit sinong nag-aya, e do ka dapat umorder ng marami – not unless ‘yung nanlibre mismo ang nag-iinsist or sya mismo ang umorder ng marami for you,” another Facebook user stated. 

Some online also brought up the issue on another social media platform, X (formerly Twitter).

X user @garenaguinaldo echoed the same sentiment about picking the cheapest offering on the menu when being invited to go on a date. 

“Kaya laging tandaan, let’s be considerate and think [about] how people [are] going to react with our actions. Sa panahon pa naman ngayon, hindi na sapat ang P1k for grocery🤣”, the online user stated. 

“If someone will pay for the food [on] the date, it’s [a] courtesy to not order a lot. Their wallet isn’t an infinite stash of money. It’s better to just be considerate or pay for your own food,” another X user said. 

However, some also stated that the suitor should have prepared for other costs while still highlighting the respect that should have been given during the date.

“When a guy asks a girl out, he should be prepared for any additional costs that may arise. On her part, the girl should be considerate with her order and avoid taking advantage of the situation, showing respect and class,” a Facebook user shared. 

50/50? 

Meanwhile, some users on Facebook and X noted that both individuals on a date should come to an agreement about whether to split the bill.

“When you go on a date, sharing the cost can be a meaningful gesture if you’re able to contribute. It’s not just about splitting the bill—it’s about showing respect and appreciation for each other’s effort and time,” a Facebook user commented on the post. 

“Let’s normalize na pag-usapan if kaya libre or not. Sa economy ngayon, let’s not be afraid to talk about how the date should be done,” an online user on X said. 

“IMO (in my opinion), hindi matic ‘yun [to shoulder the expenses]. [It] should be cleared at the onset before going on a date. Kasi ako, I’d never treat a stranger. Dutch treat always. If umayaw agad dahil hindi libre, cancel the whole thing. No to freeloaders,” another X user stated. 

Follow-up post 

The sender submitted another entry to the same Facebook page, sharing that the reactions to the previous entry were unexpected.  

“Sa mga nagsasabing PG (patay-gutom) or mapagsamantala ako, kung natian nyo kung gaano kasarap ‘yung kinain namin bala mas malaki pa yung bill nyo kaysa sa’kin,” the sender said on the caption.

According to the sender, the suitor may have been bummed out since that she did not give him a kiss on his cheeks. 

Based on another screenshot posted on the page, the sender said she would not have been in the situation if the suitor did not take her to the steakhouse. 

“Kung ‘di mo sana ako dinala sa steakhouse na ‘’yun, ‘di ako magkakaganto. Sana masaya kang binabash ako ng mga tao,” the sender said. 

The sender also contended that she would not pay for expenses since the suitor would shoulder the costs. 

“I was starting to feel sorry for you, but ekis ka sa sinabi mong ‘di kita binayaran kahit piso,” the sender stated.

“Ba’t kita babayaran e libre mo nga ‘di ba? Bigla ka na lang maniningil dyan,” she added. 

The follow-up entry, which was posted on November 3, garnered 9,400 reactions, 1,800 comments, and 1,000 shares as of November 4.

What an expert said

In an article on The Knot published last October 31, Brooke Sprowl, founder and clinical director at My LA Therapy, explained that “the question of who should pay on a first date is less about hard and fast rules and more about what that decision represents in the context of our personal value systems.”

She said that there could also be an expectation rooted in traditional gender norms that the man pays. However, some are accepting of splitting the bill, citing that it “makes more sense financially.”

“For many couples, that tradition runs deep. It’s assumed that the guy will immediately reach for the bill as soon as it arrives, but that doesn’t have to be the rule,” Sprowl was quoted as saying.

“As societal views shift, many couples now see splitting the bill as a reflection of mutual respect and shared investment in the experience,” she added.