“Tiger parenting” is out and holistic parenting is in.
This was what some notable mothers said as they discussed the concept of a parenting approach that focuses on the child’s full development in different areas at a recent Nestle’s NANKID Infinipro HA forum.
The moms were host and blogger Patty Laurel-Filart, entrepreneur and wellness enthusiast Xandra Rocha, and writer and healthy living advocate Juana Yupangco.
They were joined by Riza Ng, a clinic psychologist who specializes in parenting and family.
She is also a faculty member of the Ateneo Bulatao Center.
The panel discussion was hosted by a fellow mom, event host Anne Gauthier.
Patty, Xandra, and Juana talked about the challenges of raising pre-schoolers, navigating motherhood as first-time moms, finding balance and being present in their children’s lives, and helping manage their kids’ emotions.
Riza advised them to practice “mindful parenting” since this leads to a “holistic” approach in terms of raising their child.
Mindful parenting, she said, is when they are “more present” for themselves, their children, and the people around them.
“You’re present, you’re here and now, and you’re with your child, you’re doing your best,” Riza said to the moms.
“So it’s more like, be the kind and compassionate parent that you are and that’s already the beginning of mindful parenting… I think that can help with holistic parenting,” she added.
Mindful parenting is when the parent is fully present at the moment rather than thinking about the past or being worried about the future.
“It’s an active practice of being fully present with one’s thoughts and feelings,” pediatrician and child psychiatrist Pete Loper said to PsychCentral.
It is when the parent makes a conscious choice to constantly pay attention to whatever is happening at the moment with themselves and their kids.
Riza also explained how this ties up with a holistic style of parenting.
“To be mindful, you take into account the many dimensions of your children and that, you don’t have to focus on just one aspect… look at the many aspects of your child’s development so that when he’s having challenges with one aspect, he knows he can lean on to the other aspects and he will say that, ‘Mommy will still love me…’ so alam niya na he’s good at many things,” she said.
Explaining holistic parenting, the psychologist said:
“We have to look at the many aspects of the child and it’s not just ‘Hey, my son is a star athlete at school, etc’ and then we forget that the child also has many aspects to him. We have to look at the social skills, we also have to look at the cognitive skills. We should look at all the many aspects of the child’s development,” Riza said.
“So that’s what we mean by holistic development. So that includes physical, social, emotional, cognitive, and sometimes — we also forget — spiritual. So we have to look at all those five,” she added.
Educator and author Jenny Grant Rankin defined a tiger parent as someone who “sets extremely high goals for his or her child, usually academic, and drives the child relentlessly to achieve these goals.”
“Once each goal is reached, another is immediately set, so there is no break from the parent’s demands,” she said to Good Housekeeping.
For Riza, one can still be an “authoritarian parent,” but one must also consider the different aspects of the child’s growth and development to fulfill a holistic style of parenting.
This can be further achieved by ensuring that the child has access to proper nutrition, especially when they are still in their younger years wherein they go through a period of accelerated growth.
Formula milk provides such nutrition during a child’s early years.
A good formula, for example, can enhance immunity, contribute to brain development, help support age-appropriate growth, reinforce children’s digestion, and potentially prevent allergies.
